Questions

"What do you want?" is the kind of question that leads the conversation to another question or even to an infinity of questions once it is answered.

"What do you want me to do to make you feel better?" is the kind of question that will make you wonder if the person really cares for you or just want to get things over and done with. Of course, you may argue that it depends on context. Yes, it does.

"What do you want to happen?" is that kind of question that will make you question your own answer. It is something that you really want or are the words that come out of your mouth different from what is in your heart?

"Can I give you a hug?" is the kind of question that can make you cry in an instant, especially when you are trying so hard to keep yourself from falling into pieces.

"Can we start over?" is the kind of question that either makes you believe in a second chance or in the saying "enough is enough," I still believe that everyone deserves a second chance, a clean slate in which one can rebuild his or her life without having to use the old crumbled foundation. However, I

I think I'll start it over where no one knows my name

This is what I exactly feel right now....

Feeling hopeful for 2014

Stop thinking that we've lost our chance and time. Everything happens for a reason. Life is not all about years that pass by. It's about how we live, how we dream, and how we make our existence meaningful. Let's welcome 2014 with new hope. :)

Credits: image 1, image 2 

I'm sorry my blog

It's 12:15 in the morning. I'm supposed to be sleeping now because I need to wake up later at 6:00 am to start another week of work. However, I'm still here in front of the computer. I am usually like this when I don't want to sleep because I don't want my day to end just yet.

Another reason is this guilty feeling of neglecting my blog. Gosh, the month's almost over and I haven't posted a single thing. What the heck happened to me? a) I was too busy b) I had no spare time c) time is running too fast now or d) all of the above.

Excuses. This can't continue, I have to do something to keep doing my fruitful distractions lol. Anyway, if I can spend three hours on a TV show marathon, I can definitely spend some time updating my blog.

Here's a note to myself

...so, I resolve to use every possible moment available to do something worthy (or distracting?) and to feed this blog with some pieces of me as much as I can because

I guess the perfect time I have is anytime I am able to do the thing I want...

Photo credits: 1st, 2nd

Positive quote for the day

Image from here.

I can't dream anymore, since you left...

I just blurted out this song out of nowhere. I guess I miss listening to New Found Glory, or I guess, I can relate to this one.

These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon...

...now I wonder if I will see you again.  : |

Image from here.
Video from here.

Asking for signs?

In truth, I am a little skeptical about asking signs from God. It's not because I doubt His power, but more on me doubting myself. I keep on thinking, "what if the sign comes up, would that really be 'the sign' or me merely insisting that it is?" I'm not even sure if God really answers this kind of thing. Until I've read this verse:

Judges 6:17-18
Today's New International Version (TNIV)

17 Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. 18 Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.”

And the Lord said, “I will wait until you return.”

It's like Whoa! Hang on a minute, so really, when we ask him some signs He really does give it according to His will. 

************************************

 I realized: You have to be specific.

Maybe one reason why we doubt signs or insist just on anything is because we lack details. I'm guilty of this, sometimes I think, "would God really do that detailed thing I'm asking for, maybe He has more important thing to do... so ok, just this simple (whatever) would do."  

But men, that is all wrong. We have to be specific in what sign we want, so when it happen or not, we would not doubt. Take this example:

Judges 6:36-40

36 Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— 37 look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” 38 And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.

39 Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” 40 That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.

Don't you think Gideon is a bit demanding? Asking not one, but two signs to be sure. But more than that, he is also very specific in what he sign he's asking. I also think that what Gideon asks is very illogical, or impossible to happen, yet, that was what he asks. And God, in His power did it for him.

Now I know that asking signs is not really a bad thing. And yes, God answers it if it's in His will. There is no illogical or impossible for Him.

God sees our weakness but looks at our strength

Judges 6:14-16
Today's New International Version (TNIV)

14 The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

15 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”

16 The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.”

As I was reading the chapter about Gideon, I realized this:
               If God wants to use us as His instrument He would.  He knows our weakness but He also knows our strength. Even if we look at ourselves as insignificant and weak, God will look at our strength instead.
                And the best part - He promised to be with us. It will not just be our strength alone, but His strength too.

Credit: Image from here.

My theme song today

Today I was so jaded and frustrated, with all the things I wanted to do and to be, and then suddenly, this song just came out of my mouth. Inspirational songs really come in handy.

Now I also remember what I've read before, we can have all that we want, but not all at once. Right. We have to learn how to do it - one step at a time.

My first post in 2013 on this special day

As this is a very special day to me, I wouldn't let it go without marking it on my blog.

 

I just thank God that He continue to bless me with my life for a quarter of a century now, continue to guide me and help me get through my troubles, and best, continue to be by my side. And so, I'll share one of my personal favorite verses:

Why I like this verse:

This is really a wake up call whenever I feel so weak or afraid about the circumstances in my life. Let me tell you what I think about this verse:

 Like the lion, the king of the jungle that fears nothing, God is commanding us to be strong and courageous.

In this verse, two of the main weaknesses of human beings were also mentioned: being afraid and being discouraged. When we become afraid, we become paralyzed, we can't think straight, and often, we cower in the face of adversity. When we become discouraged, our hope dies and when it dies, we lose the will to continue.

Feeling these two negative emotions are normal, but we don't need to get stuck on that, because thankfully, God has a promise for us.

The question is not "how" can we be strong and courageous and how can we stop the fear and discouragement, buy "why"?

Why can we do it? It's because He said: "... the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

The point is we are not going alone! God promises to be there with us. There is no need to feel afraid or discouraged, because we know that we have something with us far more powerful than our fears and dismays- it's God.  

For us to be able to overcome the obstacles and challenges in our lives and succeed, we have to have faith in Him, and like soldiers obeying their commander's command, we have to be strong and courageous. 

Credits:
Photo from here.
Second photo from here.

My 8-week countdown

I should've known I couldn't get away easily. Despitewhat my bosses told me that they would let me out soon, (for health reasons), I'm still here, alive and kicking, doing the part time job.

So here I am, from the original end of contract in October 31st, I have been obliged to extend until the end of December this year, much to their pleading, and then to my wavering resolve.

Just to keep me sane, and optimistic about the turn of events, I'm naming it as my 8-week countdown. It feels better to count weeks with one digit, than to count days and come up with two digits.

During the following weeks, I would expect less sleeping hours and more eyebags, in the name of addinal income. Not bad right? Well, I liked this, so I might as well pull myself together and do it until completion.

If truth be told 
If truth be told, I'm starting to enjoy it too. With the additional income and amiable students, I think this account is good.

Plus, you know, when you travel early in the morning, you get a glimpse of life, that is not there in the busy hours. As for me, I enjoy seeing the moon, the Christmas lights along Ayala Avenue, and the empty street on my way to the office.

Perks of an early bird 
This month, the full moon was so magnificent. It looked so near, so big and so bright. As I was crossing the footbridge in Guadalupe I saw it in full view, directly on top of the building. It gives that 3d atmosphere where the building is illuminated against the dark sky. Really that was one of the most beautiful things this month. (Just a pity, I wasn't able to capture it. I couldn't risk my safety taking picture in that place.)

The Christmas lights in Ayala avenue are always a delight every year. If I remember correctly, last year, they looked like icicles dangling in the trees. This year, they made some leafleas bushes and trees out of some twigs and branches, colored it white and filled it with Christmas lights. They also dress the palm trees with round body of white lights, the result: magnificent.

Of course, the near-empty street (although this could be a disadvantage too, but I focus on the positive). Why do I like it? Well, I can skip, hop, run, sing, and walk whatever way I want without a care as to what another person might be thinking of me.

So, what's the problem?
I guess the major downside is really just the time. Still, I believe than a complete 6 to 8-hour sleep is better. Our body needs to recover from the daily grind, and it just asks a basic thing-sleep.

And with my schedule of arriving home at 11:30 and being able to finally sleep at 12, and waking up at 3:20 (repeat the process every morning) I know it is definitely not a healthy lifestyle.

So, I'm looking forward to this countdown. I hope I would be able to enjoy life as I count. ^^

How do you view mistakes?

In life there will be a lot of times when we make bad decisions, stupid mistakes, and wrong moves. More often we get knocked down by the consequences of our actions. 

In that case, what will you do? How will you respond? Will you just lie there and make a monument of that moment or will you get up, brush yourself up and continue forward? It can be disheartening to see the grave consequences of our mistakes,of our wrong decisions.

 I believe though, that it's part of life, part of the learning process to make us stronger and wiser.We may make a lot of mistakes in our lifetime, but if we look closely, these bad things can turn out for the good. We just have to find it.We have to find the lesson behind our bad decisions and mistakes, learn and remember them, so that the experience will not be wasted.

They said that experience is a hard teacher. True enough, aside from giving the test first before teaching the lesson; experience gives the same test over and over until you learn.

 No wonder sometimes we end up in a similar situation in the past, or repeat a history, it's because we refuse to learn the lesson mistakes offer.

 I believe that we don't always have to experience things first-hand. Other people can serve as guide to us. Look at their lives, how they handle mistakes or bad decisions and see what you can learn. We could face the same tests as they did, and it would be much wiser to learn from others than be a fool to go through the same ordeal yourself.

We cannot shun mistakes, it will pop out once in a while, to teach us lessons, to make us think. Yes, it's okay to blame ourselves for a while, but never let it paralyze you. Instead of cursing it, loosen up a bit, learn to laugh and make sure to learn from it.

The Law of Diminishing Intent

I read this in a newsletter from a bookshop. I think I just ought to share it. This article is a wake up call for us. Act now, or else, you'll fall prey to the law of diminishing intent. Here's the whole bit of it:

The Time to Act by Jim Rohn
Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don’t need to be hasty if it isn’t required, but you don’t want to lose much time either. Here’s the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let’s say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you’ve got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don’t, here’s what happens…


You fall prey to the law of diminishing intent.

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can’t be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you’re motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You’ve got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you’ve started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don’t connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you’ve started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: “I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes.”

Nagbabad na naman ako sa TV!

Hay, sa totoo lang iniiwasan ko na talagang manood ng TV, dahil nagiging couch potato ako... katulad ngayong gabi, more than 4 hours ata ako nasa harap ng tv namin. Di ko na tuloy nagawa ang mga dapat kong gawin.

Pero naisip ko, siguro subconcious distraction din to, dahil may bagay akong ayaw isipin... ngayon tuloy naisip ko sana nag blog na lang ako... hmp.. hehehe...

Need help?

Yes and No.

There are times when my pride or rather my stingy attitude get the better of me, and I opt out even when I know I need help.

Take for example my 'want to do' things, like improving on drawing. Before, I really wanted to add more knowledge in animation or add something to my drawing skills, so I looked for schools, and found out it cost an arm and a leg, so I told myself, nah, I can do it on my own, there are plenty of free materials on the net.

Here comes the free materials, here comes the time, but where am I? The problem is I can't seem to stick to my schedule for a long time. It's either I oversleep, or I over surf (other stuff), poor me, my plans haven't been any close to being accomplished.

That's why you know, I realized, indeed, I need help. I think I need the help of a pro, if I want to level up too.

What's your fantasy?

I just came across this awesome chance and can't help but share about it.

You know... sometimes fantasy world can be a very wonderful place. In an instant you can be anything, go anywhere and be with anyone you want to. The situations are almost real, almost tangible, though it just exists in your mind. And I admit I frequent that land in my dull moments. I'll share one that I thought of some time ago. (You must pardon me for the simplicity of this because you know, there's no autumn in my country :P)

"I'm walking on a pavement scattered with red and yellow autumn leaves. I feel the cold breeze sweep as it gently stir the nature's sleeping confettis, and I start to dance with them.

Absorbed in my own world, I'm barely aware of my friend who is some steps behind me now. He seems to be amused by my seemingly child-like attitude towards nature. He captured those candid moments.

I turn and smile at him, take out my camera and take his shot while walking. It didn't take him long to reach me. I took his arm, and just like a lady and a gentleman, we walk together along that colorful pavement."

So lovely!

Well, I hope you didn't find that too corny.. ;P

Photo from here.

Let go and let God

There are times in our lives when we really feel fired up about something we deeply desire. We do the best we know we can do; we do all we can. But the hard fact is, no matter what we do, we are bound to fail at one point, and if we are doing all the efforts by ourselves we are bound to be disappointed.

And I guess I felt that many times. Maybe double the disappointments because I even have this 'visualization' thing. They said if you really want something you have to 'see it in your mind'. You have to replay it in your mind over and over, because it will work that way. The heck I did that, and I just became bitter, and well, disappointed as ever.

When I finally decided to let go of my dreams, not really let it go to wasteland, but just let go, and let God handle it for me, amazing things started to happen, and the ending? I get to have my dream come to pass more than I expected!

It already happened to me twice, and now I really believe that visualization thing doesn't work for me, because I get frustrated. I realize that God has his own time table. He knows when to give it. As for me, I've been waiting since last year, and you know, I just realized my dream come true this month is His gift for my birthday. Just in time. Amazing!

Look at the positive side

Just this morning I got a chance to watch the 'Kerygma tv' of Bro. Bo Sanchez, and I heard a lot of useful advice. The topic was about what we focus on in our lives.

He said there's always the negative things and the positive things, but too often we focus on the negative side, instead of looking for the blessings, we magnify negativity. No wonder why we have a lot of problems, and no wonder where not living our lives to the full, because we don't see ourselves as God would see us. We choose to see ourselves, as... well, negative.

Here are the other things I got from watching:

You should say to yourself "I'm too blessed to be stressed."

If you want to be successful, stop focusing on your weakness, focus on your strengths.

You're weakness is not God's rejection, it's God's redirection.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You also have strengths.

Annoying!

Sometimes it's really hard to stand an irksome person... The more you react the more power they have over you. So I figured a different approach, as they say revenge is best served cold.